When I was a child, I learned that cats were bad. I don’t remember exactly how or why—only that my mom, aunties, and grandma didn’t like them. It was the voice I grew up with, shaping my perception of something as harmless as a household pet.

This holiday season, my mom shared a revelation: I actually loved cats as a child. She admitted, in her words, that she “stifled that love in me.” I have no memory of it. Yet here I am, years later, a twice-over cat mom thanks to my daughters—and the voice in my head, echoing those childhood beliefs, didn’t quiet down easily.

This experience got me thinking: What other voices in my head have been stifling my potential? What narratives from childhood are still whispering doubts, fears, or limiting beliefs?

The Inner Voice Begins in Childhood

Dr. Brené Brown, renowned psychologist and author, says, “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” But what happens when the voices in your head are harsh, critical, or not even your own?

As children, the way adults speak to us often becomes our inner voice. Encouragement promotes self-confidence, while criticism can breed self-doubt. A parent’s or caregiver’s words, even their unspoken attitudes, create mental blueprints we carry into adulthood.

In my case, the subtle disdain for cats became a quiet, ingrained aversion—a belief I didn’t consciously question until much later. This is just one example. For many of us, these voices affect our decisions, relationships, and willingness to explore new possibilities.

Unlearning and Relearning: A Psychologist’s Perspective

To live authentically, we must identify, challenge, and replace these inherited narratives. Here’s how:

1. Identify the Source
   Ask yourself: Where did this belief come from? Is it something you experienced, overheard, or were directly told? Reflect on whether it aligns with your current values and goals.
2. Challenge the Narrative
   Question its validity. Does this belief serve you today? Is it rooted in truth or fear? As Brené Brown reminds us, ” Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.”
3. Write a New Story
   Replace the old voice with one of empowerment. Speak to yourself kindly, with words that uplift and encourage. If you once believed you weren’t good enough, remind yourself daily of your worth and capabilities.
4. Seek Support
   Surround yourself with people who challenge limiting beliefs and encourage growth. A supportive community can amplify your new inner voice.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
   Changing internal narratives takes time. Be patient. Brené Brown puts it beautifully: “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”

Reframing Childhood Narratives

Childhood experiences shape how we view ourselves and the world. If those experiences were rooted in fear, shame, or negativity, they can limit us as adults. But here’s the good news: We have the power to rewrite those scripts.

As we step into 2025, let’s ask ourselves:

• What voices in my head no longer serve me?
• What new voices can I cultivate to encourage growth and new possibilities?

For me, becoming a cat mom was symbolic of unlearning an old narrative. What will it be for you?

Closing Thought

Our inner voices have the power to shape our futures. This year, purpose to nurture a kinder, braver, and more supportive voice within. Because, as Brené Brown says, “You are imperfect; you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”

Let’s step boldly into 2025 with new voices that propel us forward.

What voices are you working to silence this year? Let me know in the comments below!

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