By Muthoni Njagi | Kenyan Mind and Justice Digest | Judicial Officer | Counselling Psychologist
There’s something I’ve been meaning to say, and I’ll say it gently—but directly:
The way you were raised will not work for the world your child is growing up in.
Today’s parenting landscape is almost unrecognizable compared to a generation ago. It’s overwhelming. It’s digital. It’s emotionally intense. And frankly—it’s beyond your control.
Welcome to parenting Gen Z (born 1997–2012) and Gen Alpha (born 2013 onwards)—children navigating the most overstimulated, disconnected, and fast-paced era in human history.
If you’re still using the same parenting tools your parents used on you, it’s like bringing a slingshot to a cyber war.
What Today’s Children Are Really Dealing With
Let’s put the facts on the table:
- 🧠 10+ hours of screen exposure daily
- 📉 3 out of 5 teens report persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness
- 🩹 Self-harm among girls aged 10–14 has tripled in the past decade
- 💨 Vaping has surged by over 1300% in ten years
- 🗣️ Increasing signs of emotional shutdown, one-word answers, and chronic irritability
This isn’t just “bad behavior.”
This is nervous system overload.
What we’re witnessing is emotional dysregulation, sensory overwhelm, and untreated anxiety in still-developing brains.
Why Traditional Parenting Tools No Longer Work
Let’s be honest. Many of us were raised on a steady diet of:
- Punishment
- Yelling
- Guilt-tripping
- Silent treatment
But here’s the truth: These tools were designed for a different time, and they’re breaking down in today’s parenting climate.
Your child’s world is digital, global, and relentlessly fast-paced. Parenting in this environment requires consciousness, not control.
Conscious Parenting: The Approach That Changed My Life
I discovered Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s book, The Conscious Parent, during one of my lowest parenting moments—exhausted, confused, and unsure whether I was “doing it right.”
This book didn’t just offer tips—it offered transformation.
“Our children are not ours to possess or own. They are souls placed in our care to nurture and grow.” — Dr. Shefali Tsabary
Conscious parenting is a game-changer. It’s not about raising a child the “right” way. It’s about healing ourselves so we stop projecting our wounds onto them.
What Conscious Parenting Looks Like in Real Life
✅ You regulate yourself before correcting your child
✅ You respond rather than react
✅ You set boundaries without shame
✅ You listen to understand, not to control
✅ You actively heal your inner child so you don’t bleed on your own children
“The parent is meant to grow up as much as the child.” — Dr. Shefali Tsabary
But What If My Child Is Just… Disrespectful?
Let’s reframe some behaviors:
- That “talking back”? Might be boundary-setting
- That shutdown? Might be emotional fatigue
- That screen addiction? Might be escapism from overwhelm
Disrespect is often a dysregulated cry for connection. Instead of asking, “How do I fix this child?” ask:
“What is this behavior trying to tell me?”
5 Conscious Parenting Tools You Can Use Today
- Name your triggers
Why does defiance bother you? Were you raised to obey without question? - Practice co-regulation
Take a breath. Model calmness before responding. - Learn to apologize
“I’m sorry I yelled. I was overwhelmed.” These words can transform your relationship. - Validate emotions, not behaviors
“It’s okay to feel angry. It’s not okay to throw things.” - Create connection rituals
Bedtime chats. Device-free dinners. Nature walks. Connection over correction.
You’re Not Alone
Parenting in this generation is not for the faint of heart. The stakes feel higher. The overwhelm is real. The pressure is constant.
But if you’re still reading this, it means you care.
You’re trying.
And that already sets you apart.
“The parent-child relationship is where the deepest transformation occurs—if we allow it.” — Dr. Shefali
Final Thoughts: Your Child Doesn’t Need Perfection
They need your:
❤️ Presence
🕊️ Humility
💔 Healed self
And perhaps, they need to hear you say,
“I’m learning how to be a better parent—because you’re worth it.”
Let’s stop recycling pain and start rewriting the story—for our children, for ourselves, and for future generations.
📩 Let’s Talk
Have you started your conscious parenting journey? What challenges are you facing? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
And if you found this article helpful, please consider subscribing to the Kenyan Mind and Justice Digest—your weekly source of insights on parenting, mental health, and breaking generational cycles.
