Let me start by saying this: I’ve been team block and delete for the longest. Yes, the block game has been on fleek, and let’s be honest — sometimes, hitting that block button is self-care. There’s something oddly satisfying about protecting your peace with just a few taps.
But lately, I’ve been learning something deeper:
Not everyone needs to be cut off just because they didn’t meet my expectations.
I know, I know. That sounds like emotional growth — and it is (sigh). But it’s also the kind of lesson life doesn’t teach you in soft whispers. It comes through disappointment, self-reflection, and those tough inner conversations that start with: “Maybe it’s not them, maybe it’s me too.”
People Show You Their Capacity
One of the biggest mindset shifts I’ve had is this:
People don’t always disappoint you. Sometimes, you’re just expecting more than they can give.
Oof.
It’s a hard pill to swallow when you realize someone is doing their best — it just doesn’t look like your best. Maybe you’re the kind of person who pours out emotional support, quality time, and intentional love like it’s a spiritual calling. Meanwhile, they’re showing up in crumbs and one-word replies. It hurts.
But what if they’re not withholding?
What if that is their full cup?
What if you’re just operating on different emotional capacities?
Adjust the Relationship, Don’t Abandon It
Instead of slashing through people with the scissors of unmet expectations, I’ve started learning how to adjust the relationship. I can love you from a different proximity. I can stop expecting emotional depth from someone who’s just not wired that way — and still keep the peace.
Because here’s the thing:
Not every relationship has to be reciprocal to be valuable.
Sometimes it’s about honoring someone’s emotional bandwidth, even when it’s not what you hoped for.
Boundaries Over Block Lists
This isn’t about tolerating disrespect or settling for crumbs. Absolutely not.
It’s about maturing into a space where you realize: “This person is showing me who they are — and I don’t need to punish them for it.”
You can keep your peace and still keep people — by adjusting your expectations, not erasing the connection.
It’s one of the hardest emotional skills to learn:
To accept someone for who they are, not who you wish they could be.
And when you do, something beautiful happens —
Disappointment fades. Clarity comes. Peace flows.
So, maybe the next time you feel let down, pause.
Ask yourself: Is this a betrayal? Or is it just a capacity issue?
Then choose accordingly — with wisdom, not just emotion.
And hey, the block button will still be there if you really need it 😄
With grace and growth,
Muthoni
#MentalHealth #EmotionalMaturity #GraceOverGrudges #RelationshipWisdom #HealthyBoundaries #TherapistTalk #GrowthJourney #BlogLife
1 Comment
Rose
Such a great piece full of loads of wisdom