By Muthoni Njagi | Health Hour Therapy
|Femininity and womanhood| working mothers| motherhood and identity| Proverbs 31 woman| mental health for women| psychological wellbeing| firstborn daughter syndrome| redefining femininity| modern Christian women|
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” — Proverbs 31:25
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself: Who shaped your idea of what it means to be a woman?
As a mother of daughters, a psychologist, and a career woman in a high-pressure profession, this question haunts and heals me in equal measure. Because femininity — how we live it, breathe it, and pass it on — is not just personal. It’s deeply generational.
🔍 Why This Matters More Than Ever
The modern woman wears many hats. We’re professionals, mothers, partners, mentors, caregivers, providers — often all at once. And while this multifaceted identity is a source of pride, it can also become a silent burden, especially for:
- Firstborn daughters (hello perfectionism and parentification!)
- Women in high-pressure careers
- Mothers trying to “do it all” without a blueprint
So many of us grew up with a version of femininity that equated value with over-functioning. We learned to keep the peace, to be the “strong one,” and to quietly suppress our needs to make room for others.
But here’s the truth — from both lived experience and clinical practice:
💡 Femininity is not about performance. It’s about presence.
💡 It’s not about how much you can carry, but how you carry yourself.
💡 It’s about returning to your authentic self — not the one molded by expectations, but the one born in truth.
💬 From the Therapy Room: What Women Are Saying
In my sessions, I’ve heard countless women say:
- “I don’t even know what I want anymore.”
- “I’m exhausted trying to be everything to everyone.”
- “I feel guilty when I choose myself.”
And yet, the healing often begins with a single shift: reframing what femininity means to you — not what it was taught to be.
As psychologist Dr. Thema Bryant beautifully puts it:
“You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. Protect your peace — that, too, is a form of strength.”
🧠 A Psychologist’s Guide to Reframing Femininity
Here’s how you can start reshaping your internal narrative:
1. Acknowledge What Was Modelled to You
Was your mother, aunt, or guardian always tired? Always serving? Always sacrificing? That may have taught you that love means losing yourself. It doesn’t have to.
2. Accept Your Humanity
You’re not built to be all things to all people — and that’s divine design, not a defect. Embrace boundaries as a form of self-respect.
3. Redefine Womanhood for Your Season
Your version of femininity in your 20s may not fit your 40s. Make peace with your evolution. You’re allowed to be soft, bold, emotional, rational, nurturing, and ambitious — all at once.
4. Let Proverbs 31 Inspire, Not Pressure
The Proverbs 31 woman is not a checklist — she’s a portrait of grace, wisdom, and divine purpose. Key verses like:
“She considers a field and buys it…” (v. 16) — show her business savvy.
“She opens her arms to the poor…” (v. 20) — show her compassion.
“Her children arise and call her blessed…” (v. 28) — show her legacy.
📘 NEW E-BOOK: Reflections on Femininity – A Psychologist’s Perspective
I’ve written a heartfelt eBook titled Reflections on Femininity: A Psychologist’s Perspective, available now on my website:
👉🏾 www.healthhourtherapy.com
This book dives deeper into:
- The silent burdens of firstborn daughters
- The emotional cost of high-performing careers
- What womanhood, love, and motherhood really mean when unfiltered
- Psychological guidance on healing, unlearning, and reclaiming your authentic self
✨ I encourage any woman ready to heal and reclaim her identity — from the inside out — to grab a copy.
💭 Final Thoughts
Dear woman —
You are not behind. You are not failing.
You’re simply coming home to yourself.
Let’s raise a new generation of daughters — and women — who know that being a woman is not about burning out in service of others.
It’s about blooming from the truth of who you are.
Share your reflections with me:
📩 What shaped your femininity?
💬 What are you unlearning?
📚 How are you showing up differently for your daughters, your relationships, and yourself?
Let’s keep this conversation going. Your story matters.
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