Keywords: attachment theory, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, nervous system regulation, healing attachment, relationship anxiety, trauma and relationships, emotional regulation in adults
I used to think I needed better relationships.
Healthier partners. Better communication. Less confusion.
What I actually needed was a safer relationship with myself.
For years, I believed love was about effort; holding…
(And How to Choose Yours Without Self-Betrayal)
By the end of January, many of us are already negotiating with ourselves.
“I’ll start again in February.” “Maybe this year just isn’t my year.” “I had good intentions… life just happened.”
If this sounds familiar, here’s the good news: Nothing has gone wrong.
The problem isn’t you.…
You’re probably going to quit your New Year’s resolution.
And that’s okay.
Most people do. Research consistently shows failure rates hovering between 80–90%. Not because people are lazy or weak, but because most resolutions are built on performance, not psychology. We try to change our lives the same way we change our phone wallpaper. …
We are taught to celebrate wins loudly.
Promotions. Billable hours. Closed cases. Fully booked calendars. Staying strong. Pushing through. Not quitting.
On paper, it all looks impressive.
But here’s a truth I’ve come to learn through clinical work, conversations with professionals in law, and my own lived experience:
not every win is healthy, and not…
Law teaches rules, but psychology explains people. Discover how learning psychology helps lawyers improve empathy, resilience, and legal outcomes.
Keywords: psychology in law, human behavior in legal practice, law and psychology, emotional intelligence in law, mental health in the legal profession.
Introduction: The Missing Piece in Legal Training
When I first joined law school, I…
Reflective tools for tuning in to your own needs and emotions
Self-connection is the foundation of every healthy relationship. It’s not about being self-absorbed—it’s about understanding your own inner world. When you notice your thoughts, feelings, and needs—not the ones imposed by others, but the ones that are truly yours—you relate to the world with…
Today, July 25th, marks an extraordinary milestone in the world of justice and mental health: Judicial Wellbeing Day. Officially recognized by the United Nations, this day is dedicated to acknowledging and supporting the psychological and emotional well-being of judicial officers across the globe. Here in Kenya, the Chief Justice has directed that all courts take…
By Muthoni Njagi | Kenyan Mind and Justice Digest | Judicial Officer | Counselling Psychologist
There’s something I’ve been meaning to say, and I’ll say it gently—but directly:
The way you were raised will not work for the world your child is growing up in.
Today’s parenting landscape is almost unrecognizable compared to a generation…
By: Muthoni Njagi | Magistrate | Counselling Psychologist
When I think back to my childhood, money was never an open conversation. It was discussed in hushed tones, during a crisis, or in the middle of arguments.
For many of us, money wasn’t just scarce—it was sacred, secretive, or shameful. It was used to control, reward,…
“When fear is in the room, consent is not.” – Laura Richards, Criminal Behavioural Analyst
In the aftermath of multiple lawsuits and harrowing testimonies, one story stands out like a flashing red warning light: that of Rodney “Diddy” Combs’ former employee, Ms. Clark.
Her disturbing account offers us a rare and brutal glimpse into…
By Muthoni Njagi Magistrate | Psychologist | Child Advocate
As someone who has worked in the Kenyan Judiciary for the last 13 years, I've presided over many cases that involved children — children who had experienced unspeakable trauma, abuse, and violations of their innocence.
My heart broke repeatedly sitting in courtrooms listening to child survivors…
Description: Exploring the psychological dynamics of coercive control and trauma bonds in the context of the Diddy trial, with insights from experts Laura Richards and Dr. Nadine Macaluso.
The recent revelations from the Sean "Diddy" Combs trial have been both shocking and deeply unsettling. Cassie Ventura, who met Combs at the tender age of 19,…
