This morning, as I sat at my desk wondering what I wanted to write about for this week’s blog, one word kept finding its way back to me: Love.
It was in my morning devotion.
It showed up in a simple conversation with my daughters on the drive to school.
And then, like divine punctuation, it appeared again on a desk quote card:
👉🏽 “Today, remind your loved ones that you love them.”
It hit me hard. Because love—real, intentional, affirming love—is something we often assume the people closest to us just know. After all, we provide. We show up. We hustle. We’re doing it for them, right?
But here’s the truth we don’t talk about enough:
Providing is not the same as being present.
Survival is not the same as connection.
And busyness is not the same as love.
The Cost of Taking Love for Granted
We often assume our loved ones will always be there. That our children will always feel secure. That our spouses or partners know how deeply we care. That our friends understand our silence.
But what if one day, they’re not?
When that job disappears…
When the party ends and you’re left with a diagnosis…
When the “boys” or “girls” at the local bar can’t help you process real pain…
The harsh truth? The love we take for granted often becomes the love we wish we had nurtured when it’s too late.
This Is Where Emotional Intelligence Comes In
According to psychologist and author Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions while also recognizing, understanding, and influencing the emotions of others. And it’s one of the strongest predictors of healthy, thriving relationships—far more than IQ, success, or status.
Let’s unpack that in the context of love and intentionality.
1. Self-Awareness
Know what you’re feeling and how it impacts the way you show up. Are you distant because of stress? Are you irritable from burnout? Your loved ones might internalize that as rejection.
2. Empathy
Tune in. Ask how they are really doing. Listen without trying to fix. Be the safe space they can exhale in. One of the greatest gifts we can offer is witnessing someone’s experience without judgment.
3. Intentional Communication
Say the words. “I love you.”
Not just during milestones or when you mess up—but in the quiet in-between moments. Our loved ones need to hear it, feel it, and see it in our actions.
4. Presence Over Performance
Don’t confuse being busy for being there. There’s no award for the parent who misses every game or bedtime but funds the latest iPad. Children—and adults—remember how you made them feel, not what you gave them.
Why Putting In the Work Pays Off
Investing in emotional intelligence and being intentional about your relationships pays off not just for others—but for you too:
- You’ll experience greater connection, which protects against depression and loneliness.
- You’ll have a stronger support system when life gets hard (and it will).
- You’ll model healthy relationships for your children, breaking generational cycles of emotional neglect.
- And most importantly—you’ll live a life of fewer regrets and more meaning.
Final Thoughts: Love Loud, Love Now
So today, don’t wait.
Tell your children you love them.
Call your mom or dad if you still can.
Apologize. Forgive. Show up.
Let your friends know what they mean to you.
Drop the assumption that love is understood—make it felt.
Because one day, the job may be gone. The party may be over. The “one day” may never come.
But the love you sow now—that’s the legacy that will remain.
How are you being intentional in your relationships this week?
Share in the comments or tag someone who needs this reminder. 💛
#EmotionalIntelligence #MentalHealth #EQMatters #IntentionalLiving #LoveIsAVerb #TherapistThoughts #LeadershipAndLove #FaithAndFamily #PresenceOverPerformance #HealthHourTherapy
